The second thing that happened today is that I broke up with my boyfriend, August. The time had to come soon, I wasn't planning on finding my soul mate. Today just happened to be the day. But don't feel bad. I broke up with him, I guess the feeling was mutual though. In the end its a little sad.
This is how it all went down. August and I started going out in the beginning of June, so it was one of my longer relationships, but still an uneventful one. We saw each other alot in the beginning but only for short periods of time. Then he left to Green Bay for two weeks and later I left to New York so we didn't see each other much. We texted sometimes but I will end up texting an entire paragraph and all he will text back is "Oh, lol, yeah" or "yesh". This is ok, sometimes, but when what you texted had nothing to do with the reply; like you never asked a question then you get a replay saying "yesh" is a little annoying. So I stopped trying to text him. Also every time I asked him about his day or how he was doing he would always have some kind of negative reply. He was always saying how he thinks people don't like him, or how he hated Stoughton. I mean I know you miss your old town and all, but come on Stoughton's not that bad. But whatever. So he's a negative person, the only problem with that is I feed off of peoples energy majorly, so if their down, I have a hard time getting revved up. So there was that.
Besides the things I didn't like about him, I wasn't perfect either. With the texting thing, after a while I mentioned something about it, which was probably a big mistake. Hey, its a huge pet peeve. Also in general, I'm a sucky girlfriend. Other than having no idea what I'm doing, I have issues with dating. I can not, I repeat, can not, be attached to my boyfriend if my friends are around. I feel uncomfortable if I am with a boyfriend and my friends are in a 100 ft radius of me. Friends first forever and always. I don't get how someone can choose to hang with one stupid boy vs a group of your best friends, I just don't get it. Also there is just to much emotional stuff, I find that guys are way more emotional then girls. They are always complaining and wanting you around all the time. I thought it was the other way around, that guys are the ones that want to be free from the girls. So confusing, they also do not get hidden cues at all, I mean they are mentally unable to put verbal and nonverbal cues together to get something. You literally have to spell it out for them. This sucks for me sense I am a vague person, and have half a conversion in my head, and spew out leftover thoughts that are suppose to be understood. duh!
I also find myself uncomfortable around guys. Their just kind of awkward. Like I never know what to talk about. Also you have so much pressure when your around guys, especially if your in a relationship. You have pressure to be so lady like and shit. I am not a very lady like girl. I mean I like to shop I like fashion, and drama TV shows, classic girl things, right? In general, though, I have some unlady like mannerism, like I am very independent, I hate it when people buy me stuff, I can do things by myself, for the most part. I do like it when a guy is polite, but that is so rare to find theses days. Guys don't open doors for you anymore, or help you carry something heavy. That classic politeness I feel has been lost. Instead guys judge you so much, you have to be hot, you have to do this, your boobs have to be this big, ext. They point out everything you say, and sometimes judge you right to your face. AHH! I hate them! Sometimes I think it would be easer just to go out with girls. I mean we would probably get each other alot better, we would be able to talk about the same stuff and give each other all the attention and not attention that we need. It would be more like having a best friend then a relationship. Alot more easer don't you think? At least girls have fashion. Who's genius idea was it to make males and females as different as a person can possibly get?!?! I feel like I could be a single lady forever.
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