A drunken man paces the night, drinking his glass of excuses. The drunken man sorrows in his self-pity, but never changes his habits. The murmurs of late night TV never give him answers, nor resolve his problems, instead it babbles on about unimportant things that are not amusing. The drunken man mimics the TV and seeks life with his hands on the keyboard and his sleepless eyes glazed over, waiting for the monitor to respond.
An old man walks everyday in his Sunday best. He does not smile; maybe he nods. He sports a long black coat, a pair of clean slacks, a white blouse and a tie. One knows not of where he goes, and whom he sees. Does he do it for himself? Dignity maybe, for he must look his best when time has caught up to him.
The girl who does not eat. For she can not believe what the numbers mean, and she can not trust what her friends say. She denies the pleasure of food, eats each bite as if it were poison. The mirror shows her, size 18. Her stomach twists.
The petrified rabbit moves not a hair for the creature may see that it's there.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Friday, June 1, 2012
06/01/12 Gradroverted
In two days I will be walking across the stage in a highly fashionable Viking Purple gown and a "mortarboard" of a hat. Now set free from high school, I am to make something of myself. The hardest part is not knowing were to begin. I mean, I had it all planned out to go to college, meet lots of friends, and party! That's what I want. Although there is something holding me back, over the past year I realized something about myself, it's something that is upsetting, and ruins my plans. I am shy, or an introvert, or both. I can't pin-point which yet, because both descriptions match me. One may wonder how it took 18 years to just be figuring this out, but the truth is I have been in denial. I just always thought that if I were someplace else I will be different, thinking the people that made me the way I am and not me. This upsets me most because I am well aware of being introverted or shy, and I don't want to be this way. I wish so much that I can be extroverted and out going, because at heart that is what I strive to be. I want to mingle, and yell, and do what ever extroverted people do. Going to college is scary, it's all about having the time of your life. I am trapped in my own head, caged by my thoughts. Hopefully I can find a way to set free before I watch my life go by.
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