12/29/2012 Schönes Stadt

       I don't want to be one of those people who go on obnoxiously about their travels around the world. All I have to say is that my trip to Germany was one of those experiences that you don't forget. I wish I could write in detail about the people I met. That's what it comes down to, the people. No matter where I am in the world, it is the affect people who surround me have and how they determines the experience I have. Traveling is more than some luxury vacation, to me it is a way to learn. I don't want to be at a beach, sipping sweet alcoholic drinks from fancy glasses decorated with fruits and miniature umbrellas, instead I would rather split a pitcher of beer at a pic-nic bench talking with new and exciting people.
I want to explore a country, not only see other the cultures but learn about them. The best thing about my last trip to Germany was the people who came from all over the world. They all grew up differently and came together in this one city to improve or learn German. Tübingen, Germany, is where I stayed for that month of August, the best feeling was near the end when that city half way around the world from my hometown started to feel familiar to me.  That familiar feeling you get when you are around something for a long enough time that it stops feeling odd and starts to feel like another home. Part of me likes this feeling because no matter where I am I know that feeling will settle in and that place will become home. In the other hand that feeling is unsettling, for familiarity gets boring, and that feeling that makes me want to leave and explore some place new. I finished my first semester of college, the university is now familiar to me, and I am starting to get restless.

Tiny Travelers

A little something I decided to do over my winter break. This is my first true stop motion film. Took about 537+ frames.

07/29/12 Sink or Swim

    So it has been a while sense I have graced my blog with profound thoughts. The reason for this has probably been a mix of my fast paced schedule of worldly travels and my unbroken internal happiness. How can I complain.  In less then 24 hours I will be on a plane to Deutschland. This time not so much for site seeing. Instead I will be taking an "intensive" German language class. The class will be taught in German. When signing up for this kind of crazy, I was convinced everything will be okay. I was convinced that I would do just fine knowing a minimal amount of German and that the class will teach me the rest. Now, 24 hours before I leave, I am realizing that maybe I am not prepared for such an event. My success will only be known upon my return. These last few days here at home I have been in a silent panic as I am "Google Translating" half the stuff written by fellow classmates. There are two ways to teach someone how to swim, one is to coach them from the shallow end of the pool, the other is to simply push them off into the deep end. It's either sink or swim.

06/24/12 The Petrified Rabbit

A drunken man paces the night, drinking his glass of excuses. The drunken man sorrows in his self-pity, but never changes his habits. The murmurs of late night TV never give him answers, nor resolve his problems, instead it babbles on about unimportant things that are not amusing. The drunken man mimics the TV and seeks life with his hands on the keyboard and his sleepless eyes glazed over, waiting for the monitor to respond.
An old man walks everyday in his Sunday best. He does not smile; maybe he nods. He sports a long black coat, a pair of clean slacks, a white blouse and a tie. One knows not of where he goes, and whom he sees. Does he do it for himself? Dignity maybe, for he must look his best when time has caught up to him.
The girl who does not eat. For she can not believe what the numbers mean, and she can not trust what her friends say. She denies the pleasure of food, eats each bite as if it were poison. The mirror shows her, size 18. Her stomach twists.

The petrified rabbit moves not a hair for the creature may see that it's there.

06/01/12 Gradroverted

      In two days I will be walking across the stage in a highly fashionable Viking Purple gown and a "mortarboard" of a hat. Now set free from high school, I am to make something of myself. The hardest part is not knowing were to begin. I mean, I had it all planned out to go to college, meet lots of friends, and party! That's what I want. Although there is something holding me back, over the past year I realized something about myself, it's something that is upsetting, and ruins my plans. I am shy, or an introvert, or both. I can't pin-point which yet, because both descriptions match me. One may wonder how it took 18 years to just be figuring this out, but the truth is I have been in denial. I just always thought that if I were someplace else I will be different, thinking the people that made me the way I am and not me. This upsets me most because I am well aware of being introverted or shy, and I don't want to be this way. I wish so much that I can be extroverted and out going, because at heart that is what I strive to be. I want to mingle, and yell, and do what ever extroverted people do. Going to college is scary, it's all about having the time of your life. I am trapped in my own head, caged by my thoughts. Hopefully I can find a way to set free before I watch my life go by.

05/03/12 You.

You. You are on my mind, you. You look at me and you stay there. Stuck in the back of my brain, you. You, your smile, your hair, your existence. Go away you. What makes you so special, you so different from the rest? I don't even like you that much. Your not even that funny. You aren't even nice to me. Your face, I've seen better. You! You! You! I hate you! You ruin my life, you. You mess with my head to get what you want. You don't even look me in the eye. You play me. How do you pull me. I try to push you. You, why you.

04/16/12 Expectations

This is a short post. A post in which I am also testing out a mobile app for Blogger. Let's see how it goes.
Expectations, I am again overwhelmed, but it doesn't take much to overwhelm me. This time I am overwhelmed by the amount of Expectations that are "expected" for us teenagers/young adults on a given day. Starting with school.
School Expectations:
Read 20pages of an extremely boring book a day.
Do 30plus math problems a day.
25point summitive and 35point formative due in a week.
Study for all tests.
Remember everything the teacher says because it is important even if it is only mentioned once and talked about briefly.
Learn brand new concert music, be ready to perform it in two weeks, or expected to practice outside of class.

Friend Expectations:
Listen to their problems.
Think of wisdom for their problems.
Don't expect them to do the same.
Make sure they stay in one piece.
Be fun.
Don't poop the party; join.
Be exciting and funny at all times.

Peer Expectations:
Be nice.
Hide your inner freak for your true friends.
Look nice.
Don't say anything unless it's amazing.

Work Expectations:
Must be doing something always.
Think outside the box, even if you are being payed minimum wage.
Don't be tired.
Body Expectations:
Eat what you crave.
Eat healthy.
Sleep.
Drink coffee.
Watch your weight.
Drugs are only meant for sometimes.

In one day all of those expectations come into play at least once. Why is there so much expected of us, and how can we do it all?

2/26/12 Claymation

    What is this? What is this life that has been put before us. This wad of clay slapped on the table; "make something of this!" Make it wonderful they say. Make this life adventurous, full of love, emotion, and worth. Out must come wisdom. We must plan it quickly before it becomes bone dry, to late to be shaped anymore. What is this wad of clay, really? Do we shape it or does it shape us. When spun on the wheel, we press our fingers deep into the cool, mud like glop, forcing it shape for us. We push and pull with the clay and hope for it to work it's self out, to be made into something beautiful.