Its amazing how much the way you think changes as you get older. You don't realize it until you step out of your mind for a second and take in a small gasp of air. Then you look back and you remember the things you thought about when you were younger vs the things you think about now. I've always been one to be lost in thought. A whirlwind of idea's dance in my head, never ending words, lines repeating over and over. Most of all worry, especially around time of stress. So many things you have to think about and your brain is over powered with questions and answers, events trying to arrange themselves into a perfect time line that hopefully wouldn't be lost. I have my own mental battles of what I am thinking and my own self, telling me not to think that way, back and forth, debating telling myself what is right. I hope for the right one to win but sometimes I just have to allow myself to feel; angry, jealous, sad, confused.... it goes on. The brain is like a crowed room; just white noise filling up a small space... until you listen carefully and pinpoint on one thought... then you stop all together and realize the room is silent.
Monday, January 17, 2011
1/17/11 White Noise
Its amazing how much the way you think changes as you get older. You don't realize it until you step out of your mind for a second and take in a small gasp of air. Then you look back and you remember the things you thought about when you were younger vs the things you think about now. I've always been one to be lost in thought. A whirlwind of idea's dance in my head, never ending words, lines repeating over and over. Most of all worry, especially around time of stress. So many things you have to think about and your brain is over powered with questions and answers, events trying to arrange themselves into a perfect time line that hopefully wouldn't be lost. I have my own mental battles of what I am thinking and my own self, telling me not to think that way, back and forth, debating telling myself what is right. I hope for the right one to win but sometimes I just have to allow myself to feel; angry, jealous, sad, confused.... it goes on. The brain is like a crowed room; just white noise filling up a small space... until you listen carefully and pinpoint on one thought... then you stop all together and realize the room is silent.
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wow! what great insight you have! very powerful writing and amazing example of thought process. so glad you are able to allow yourself to feel your feelings and that you are patient about waiting for the "answer" thought to emerge.
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